Question:
I like making a diverse cast of characters, but I feel like in certain cases a transsexual character wouldn’t make much sense. An example would be in a post-apocalyptic there wouldn’t be the same forms of medical treatments available, or a medieval stetting. Do you any suggestions of thoughts on this?
Answer:
I do have some thoughts of this.
First of all, the post-apocalyptic setting would depend on the stage of transition that the person is in, but while it would create a unique set of problems, it would not be insurmountable. And trans people wouldn’t cease to exist in an apocalypse - an interesting story would come from dealing with the problems trans people would face in post-apocalyptic life. Hormones, for example - they would have to be scavenged, but because of the limited uses for Spiro and the other alternatives for HRT, they wouldn’t be commonly scavenged. The problems are no harder to deal with then a diabetic person having to find insulin, perhaps even easier because of the large number of diabetics in the US - about 8% of the population as compared to 1% of the transgender population.
As for the medieval setting …
The first option requires the setting to be non-historic, I.E. using magic as a replacement for science. The other option is simply to have a transgender character that doesn’t transition because they can’t. That would create interesting conflict and turmoil for a character to have.
Just because you change the setting, that doesn’t mean transgender characters would disappear. How they act, how they respond, how they deal with this side of their personality might shift but there would be transgender people.
Question:
Ok, I’m a gay guy. When I was young, I was being made fun of by people for how “faggy” I am and they sometimes called me by girl pronouns, which are really hurtful. And now there are trans people who want to be called by opposite pronouns, I feel uncomfortable if someone who is a boy asks me to called him a “she” and vice versa, it’s making me feel like I’m teasing them or insulting them. It’s so confusing and uncomfortable.
Answer:
You have to understand, you’re not trans. You are a guy who happens to want to sleep with other guys. It’s completely and totally unrelated and you shouldn’t apply that experience to how you treat transgender people. One of the key phrases you’re using incorrectly is “opposite pronouns,” because we aren’t using opposite pronouns. We’re using the appropriate ones for who we are.
The first thing to remember is being called “she” was insulting to you because you’re a boy. Calling a trans woman “he” is insulting to her for exactly the same reason - she’s not a boy, and you are invalidating who she is by saying that. Calling trans women “boys” or using male pronouns results in the same feelings you had when you were called she and referred to as a girl. The same thing applies, in reverse, to trans men - using female pronouns is saying “you are a girl because I say you are, your feelings don’t matter.” I know you’re coming from wanting to make people feel OK and from wanting to be a decent human being but you’re insulting and hurting them when you use the wrong pronouns.
Trans women ARE women. Trans men ARE men. It has nothing to do with being gay, it’s all your gender identity. Just in the same way you aren’t a woman for liking men, trans women’s gender has nothing to do with their sexual orientation. Take me - I’m a transgender woman, and I am a lesbian. Being transgender had nothing to do with liking men in any way. Now, there are straight trans women, there are bisexual trans women, pansexual trans women, asexual, gray-a … the list goes on. The point is it’s not related.
In the same way you want to be respected enough to be called by the correct gender pronouns, treat trans people with that respect and refer to them by THEIR pronouns. That is the best way to be a good friend.
Question:
I’m still confused. OK, if I look at a picture of your genitals, will i think you’re a boy or a girl?
Answer:
If you look at a picture of my genitals, you’ll think I’m a porn star.
Rebloggable upon request.
Question:
hey. my friend is ftm. I’m okay with this, they recently came out but they haven’t really come out publicly. The other day they told me to start using different pronouns, and to do it at school. I just don’t really want to because they aren’t publicly out and if someone hears me using different pronouns I’m afraid they will question me about it and I don’t feel like it’s my responsibility to out them to the world. Is it bad that I feel that way? What should I do?
Answer:
Use male pronouns.
The key to what pronouns to use is always to use the pronouns that someone prefers. He wants you to use male pronouns, so use male pronouns. Coming out is not a light switch, you’re not instantly out once you start coming out. You’ll come out to different people at different times. It often helps, as a conversation starter, to have people using the right pronouns around you when you come out. And there other times when someone using the right pronouns is all the “coming out” you need.
As for “should you feel bad for feeling that way,” no. You shouldn’t. You’re looking out for your friend and that’s a good thing. This is one case where being a good friend means respecting their transition/their place in the transition. Your intentions are noble but let him be who he is and respect his pronoun preference.
Anonymous asked: I'm still confused. OK, if I look at a picture of your genitals, will I think you're a boy or a girl?
If you look at a picture of my genitals, you’ll think I’m a porn star.
Question:
How do you ask someone politely what pronouns they would like you to use?
Answer:
Carefully.
The best way to ask someone what pronouns they prefer is quickly and privately. Don’t make a big deal out of it. Take them aside, ask them quickly what pronouns they would prefer, then use those pronouns from now on. Focusing on the question or asking it in public/around other friends will do nothing but reinforce the feelings of being the “other” that pronoun questions can raise and will just be awkward all around.
Just ask quickly, politely, and privately, and move on, and it won’t be an issue.
Question:
Hello, I don’t want to be rude, but I want to make sure I have my terminology right, so as not to insult anyone. Is someone who is transfemale going from male to female, or female to male? And vice versa. I’m never sure if the additional gender to the trans* is the way they feel now, or the body they were born into.
Answer:
A trans woman is a woman, someone who was assigned the gender of male but is really a woman. The easiest way to think of what gender to think of someone is to drop the word “trans” from the phrase - a trans man is a man, and should be treated as such. A trans woman is a woman, and should be treated as such. A transgender person with a non-binary identity is a person with a non-binary identity and should be treated as such.
Though, to be clear - bodies have a sex, not a gender. You can have a different gender to your sex - hence transgender people. The importance seems minor but it is significant in the way you think about transgender folk.
Question:
i still don’t understand, why would someone want to SWITCH “genders” why can’t they just live how they were born and just act how they want to act, whether its considered feminine or masculine regardless of how they were born. isn’t people wanting to switch genders really just validating gender stereotypes?
Answer:
I get something like this at least once a month. And what this comes from is a complete misunderstanding about transgender people in general, which considering how small a percentage of the population we are isn’t something that I can judge too harshly.
Being transgender, in my case being a transgender woman, has very little to do with embracing traditional gender roles, if anything at all. Being transgender is about being who you are. Trans women aren’t women because they want to be feminine, they’re women because they are women - it’s as simple as that. There are trans women who are tom boys and trans men who are fairly feminine. It has more to do with who you are, how your body reflects who you are, and intrinsic knowledge about personal identity.
The key thing you’re not understanding is that people who are transgender are not switching genders, they are expressing who they have always been. Trans people are not just very feminine or very masculine and then decide “well, I might as well go ‘all they way’ and transition.” It’s a question of who you are intrinsically.
Gender is about personal identity, which comes from an intrinsic sense of self. People who are trans realized their gender didn’t line up with their bodies or their birth certificate. Gender is about a lot more then the things you chose to do.
Questions:
What keeps a trans vagina moist? is it dry all the time until you put lube on it?
Answer:
Transgender Vaginoplasty has made large steps in recent years ever since the first procedures were performed. Originally, as you say, the only lubrication in a neovagina was whatever could be added. About a decade later, surgery got better, and some cases were reported with self-lubrication, others requiring lube. The original surgery was merely an inversion of the penis, and it had none of the functions of a cis vagina beyond releasing urine and accepting sexual objects. Continuous progress has been made in technique and the results were more effective, useable and safer. But the surgical options are now much, MUCH more extensive and much more capable.
The current “preferred” method is significantly more invasive. It is referred to as a “colon section” and uses, well, a section of the colon as part of the basis for the neovagina. It’s function is greatly increased - it self cleans, it does not need dilation, and - most importantly in relation to your question - it self lubricates.
Transgender vagina’s are just that - vaginas. There is very little in terms of form or function that differs from a cis vagina.
It should be noted that the function does not extend to giving birth.
I hope that helps.
Anonymous asked: Hi! I'm genderqueer and transmasculine, would it be okay for me to participate on the giveaway? Or do you want just binary transmen to do so?
Reblog it!
I just want the clothing to go to someone who’ll wear them and not be dysphoric.
